Fitness as a Life Skill for Your Life and Career

A couple of weeks ago, I came across an article that resonated with me personally, and I have seen this viewpoint reflected in my work with clients. The title of the article is: “Why Exercise is a Life Skill.” written by Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.. Doctors Fox and Sokol compare the process of setting fitness or exercise goals with setting goals for your life direction. Determining goals for your life and career is key to moving towards success in your life and career. They propose that the setting, pursuit and implementation of fitness goals parallel the process that we use when we look at our life goals. I agree with their proposal/observation.

General steps in the goal process look like this:

1. Determine your goal(s). Determining and setting out a plan for your life and career can be overwhelming especially if you are not sure of what you want. As with most career and personal elements, goals are very unique to each individual. Often, people have a feeling or idea of what it is they do not want rather than what they do want. The ability to be able to articulate what it is that you do want is a stepping-stone to being the process of determining your intentions. It is common to struggle with this step. Some of my clients have goals, but a number of them do not. In some cases, those that do have intentions may not have them clearly defined. Part of my goal setting formula is to inform or remind clients about creating SMART goals.

Goals should be:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-bound

2. As you determine how to pursue your goal, you need to work out what you are prepared to do and how you can reach your objective. You may also need to make sub-goals to achieve on a daily or weekly basis as you work toward a longer time line. Try to be aware of any limitations that may need to be considered regarding the pursuit your aspiration.

3. Once you are working at your goal, you will find that you may need to compromise and sacrifice some activities to stay on track. This will include establishing priorities such as looking at day-to-day activities, against what you need to be doing as you achieve your objective.

4. Along the way, you will also likely need to exercise determination and draw on personal resources of resilience, as well as look to the support of our family and friends. There will be challenges and set backs, but the way you work through or overcome these obstacles will become part of your self-development. If you make mistakes, you can choose to learn from those mistakes as well. You will probably find that you need to refine and adapt aspects of your sub-goals, but your primary or main goals should be able to be maintained.

5. When you reach your goal, you will feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment that will increase your self-esteem and confidence. If you do not obtain your goal, it would be an opportunity to review your goal-setting criteria, such as reviewing your SMART goals.

Taking on a fitness goal may be a way to assist with achieving life and career goals. The process of determining and obtaining a fitness objective emulates the general goal process. Whether your goal is to lose or gain weight, strengthen your core, increase coordination, stamina and/or speed in terms of walking, running, swimming, cycling, yoga, hockey or some other team or individual sport – these are tangible goals. In my case, I needed to lose some weight and strengthen my core to deal with localized hip pain that had developed over a year ago, and had subsequently stopped me from running an average of 7 to 10 km at least twice a week. The added motivation was that I was being threatened with surgery if I could not achieve my objectives in order to overcome my hip issue.

Even with my SMART goal in mind, I tried unsuccessfully to set a training schedule for myself. After a couple of months, I relented and decided that I needed to recruit a personal trainer, and I was lucky to find a trainer who does group work (therefore making the cost of sessions more economical than private sessions), and more importantly, can work with my injury, but still enable me to build and increase my fitness level. In addition to losing weight and increasing my core and overall physical strength, I find that I am more motivated working with a trainer. I compromised my time by waking up an hour earlier to accommodate my sessions. My challenges included vacation periods when I was not able to maintain my regular schedule, but I was able to return to my routine after the holiday season. I also find that my regular sessions act as preventative stress management and I have more energy and stamina in general. Plus the added benefit of the social aspect of group training in a supportive environment. Finally, because I am feeling that I have a higher level of fitness, my eating habits have also improved.

During the journey of achieving my fitness objectives, I experienced the various steps in the goal process. I find that my achievement helps me feel more empowered and confident to pursue my personal life and career ambitions. It helps me feel that as I have accomplished these objectives, I can consolidate my success and be motivated to pursue more challenging goals. I have seen this reflected in some of my clients as well, using the benefits of reaching health and fitness goals to help in the pursuit of their own life and career objectives. If you are struggling with your own goal process, perhaps taking the perspective of fitness as a life skill can help you accomplish your personal life and career goals.

 

Mitigating Limitations for Your Life and Career

We all have limitations. Dictionary.com defines limitations as “a limiting condition; restrictive weakness; lack of capacity; inability or handicap.” Limitations are a fact of life and play a role in how we shape our lives. Sometimes, we can be acutely aware of certain limitations that we have. In other instances, we have adapted to our limitations in such a way that we no longer perceive the limitation. In another category, we may not even realize we are avoiding actions or behaviours due to our limitations.

Last week, working with my long-time Pedorthist, Adam Janke regarding my orthotics, I fell into the “avoiding” category of my limitations. Without going into too many details, I was not doing my daily rehabilitation exercises prescribed for a hip issue by another specialist. Adam called me on this and knowing that I go to the gym and work out regularly, questioned my lack of motivation for these seemingly basic exercises. The result of the exchange was that he suggested some other exercises that I may be able to more easily incorporate into my existing fitness schedule. I commented to Adam that his process of uncovering my limitations and offering solutions to work with them was similar to the work I do with clients.

What struck me about this awareness of my limitations is that I consider myself relatively self-aware. Of course, as documented, there is always room for improvement. When working with clients on limitations, the experience is typically unique for each individual. The “ah-ha” moment or that moment of realization regarding that a career decision, past, present or future could be the result of a limitation, can be a step towards a sense of clarity for most. The definition of limitation as stated at the beginning of this post is also usually viewed as a negative attribute, but it does not have to be. Depending on your perception of the limitation, it could be an impetus for self-improvement, or it may push you to improve other aspects of your personality or skills set where you know you are already strong, thereby mitigating the limitation.

It may take an objective point of view to be able to realize your limitations in some cases. Regarding your limitations that you already recognize, challenge yourself to use that knowledge to become aware of and build on your strengths. A healthy awareness and acceptance of your limitations can be your roadmap to unleashing your potential in your life and career. As Jonathan Swift so eloquently wrote, “Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.”

 

Interview Skills 101 for Your Life and Career

Recently I volunteered to assist with mock interviews for a work readiness program. As with most volunteer work, it was a very rewarding experience. In less than two hours, I gave 10-minute interviews to six candidates with five minutes of brief one-on-one feedback between each interview. The following day I returned to sit with a wider group of program participants and we gave more detailed feedback in a group setting, as the sessions the day before had been recorded on video camera. The objective was to help the six candidates practice interview skills, and to help all participants learn from the experience of the candidates who had volunteered to be interviewed and taped.

While this is not the first time that I have given at least six interviews in one day, it is the first time I have done so for such a short duration (10 minutes per interview) and in such rapid succession. What was interesting to me is that the activity highlighted commonalities regarding areas of improvement for the candidates in their interview skills. While not every candidate needed the same feedback, it made me reflect on sessions with my own clients and what we discuss regarding interview skills. There appear to be some common themes to which most of us can relate. These themes are not original (and the list is far from exhaustive), but sometimes we take it for granted that everyone already knows where the interview challenges are. For those who do not know or may need a reminder, here are some of my recent observations of common interview challenges: nervousness and anxiety, presentation skills, talking too much or too little, self-promotion, determining when to ask the interviewer for clarification, and asking appropriate/relevant questions of the interviewer.

Here is a brief explanation of these themes and solutions to consider:

Nervousness and anxiety – interview anxiety is normal and should be expected. The majority of candidates find the interview experience to be anxiety provoking. Thankfully, most interviewers realize this fact and typically make some compensation for nerves. However, if you can mitigate interview anxiety, it will help to positively distinguish you from other candidates. Being prepared for your interview is one way to help overcome your nerves. One excellent way to prepare is to practice interviews with a family-member, friends and/or colleagues, as well as in front of a mirror on your own. Prepare a list of different styles of interview questions and have someone practice being the interviewer for you. Ask the person helping you for feedback too. For practicing in front of a mirror on your own, rehearse responses out loud, paying attention to your intonation, expressions and gestures.

The more you practice, the more you will find that you refine your answers and you will sound more confident in an interview situation. If you can video yourself and review the footage, this is another great way of preparing for an interview. You can become aware of speech patterns or body language that you may not have otherwise noticed. Other ways to prepare are to further research the company, including seeing if you know anyone in your network who had worked at the company or with the company in some way. Of course, you should make sure you know where the interview is located and give yourself time to arrive early. It is also a good idea to have the contact information and phone number of the person you are meeting, at hand.

Presentation skills – in addition to the basics such as good grooming, personal hygiene and making sure you are dressed appropriately for the role to which you are applying, looking organized is also part of how you are perceived by your prospective employer. One effective way to convey being organized, is to take two copies of your resume, a copy of the job posting and your application letter or application form (if applicable) and to have this in a folder or portfolio. The reason I say two copies of your resume is so that, should the interviewer not have a copy of your resume, you can give a copy to the interviewer and also have yours for your own reference. A notebook and pen may also be a good idea if you feel that you may want to take any notes. If you do not typically take notes during a meeting such as an interview, you may wish to leave the notebook out of your folder. You may make yourself more nervous trying to take notes inappropriately, if it is not natural for you.

Talking too much or too little – it can be a fine balancing act to respond appropriately to questions in an interview situation. The ideal is to answer questions in a manner that is concise and to the point. Some candidates try to over-explain or belabour topics and literally talk themselves out of a job. Think of a time when you have been with a salesperson that has talked so much, you felt you no longer wanted what was being sold. You only wanted to extricate yourself from the conversation. Another mistake is to try to fabricate a reply when you do not know the answer. If you do not know something, be honest and admit that. If appropriate, you might include that you enjoy learning new skills, etc or you would be willing to research to find the answer. If you enjoy being challenged by a steep learning curve, this may also be a good time to highlight the fact. The interviewer should appreciate your integrity and enthusiasm.

Self-promotion – when you do respond to questions, also try to naturally work in examples of relevant experience from your background that reflects the findings of your research for the role and company. This is what I call self-promotion. It creates a clear picture for the interviewer why you have the relevant skills and experience for the job. Make sure that you are not being self-gratuitous in your self-promotion. Once again, there is a question of balance to be considered.

Asking for clarification when necessary – if the interviewer says something and you are not clear as to the intent or the meaning of the question, politely requesting clarification is acceptable. You could rephrase the question beginning with words such as, “Do you mean…?” Overcoming ambiguity when communicating is important in any relationship including in the workplace. Interviewers are not infallible, so it is not unreasonable for you to ask for more information if you do not understand a question. It also demonstrates your communication skills and that you are able to speak up and assert yourself, as needed.

Asking appropriate/relevant questions of the interviewer – this is a part of the interview where you have the opportunity to ask questions to further demonstrate your interest and enthusiasm in the job. If you can think of relevant, creative questions, you can engage your prospective employer and create a memorable impression at the end of the interview. During a first interview, it is not a good idea to ask questions pertaining to compensation, benefits or vacation unless the interviewer has requested this information from you directly. Should the question arise regarding your salary expectations, it is a good idea to have researched what the salary range is for your role in the market, if you do not know the salary range of this particular employer. If you do need to have this conversation with the interviewer, it is preferable if you can offer a salary range rather than a fixed figure. Don’t think that the employer will necessarily offer you the lower range. Salary negotiation and expectations will vary with different roles.

My observations are a brief note on what I have experienced as common challenges with clients and in my recent volunteer experience. I could probably write a book on all the topics of interview mistakes, tips and tricks, but this handful of examples is a sample of some common mistakes that I have experienced with clients. I will be writing a future post on creating an interview “Elevator Pitch” for interviewees, which is another way to create a positive impression on your interviewer. Until then, good luck to all those applying for new roles, promotions and opportunities. I hope that some of the words from this blog post have been helpful!

 

Dealing with Confidence and Self-Doubt in your Life and Career

A prominent issue I encounter with most clients is a lack of confidence. According to Dictionary.com, the definition of confidence to which I am referring is: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. As with most personality characteristics, the level and type of confidence that is lacking will be unique to each individual. Not surprisingly, for a number of my clients, there is a lack of confidence regarding finding a suitable career or work that is in line with interests, skills and values. Or for clients who are seeking to improve career performance in a current role, there is self-doubt and anxiety about how an individual is functioning at work. A client may appear to have great communication, interpersonal and assertiveness skills and be successful in personal aspects of life, but when the question is focused on career, this confidence dissipates.

What we label as a “lack of confidence” has its roots in self-efficacy. Self–efficacy refers to the client’s perception regarding his/her capabilities, or his/her ability to achieve a task. A client’s belief in his/her own abilities can impact career development positively or negatively. If an individual has low self-efficacy expectations, even if objectively, he/she is skilled in a task, this belief will likely hinder the individual and could mean that he/she does not apply for an occupational role believing he/she is not capable of attaining the role. Outcome expectation is one’s estimation of the probability of an outcome. Goals are the result of effort to reach an objective. The latter two subjects will be discussed in a separate post.

Self-efficacy, outcome expectation and goals are aspects that are considered to explain the proposal by Hackett and Betz that belief in one’s abilities can affect career development. An individual will not consider certain career opportunities if he/she feels unable to achieve a specified goal, and in turn, the same individual may set personal and career goals low as a result of this belief. In contrast, if an individual believes he/she can achieve a goal that may seem unrealistic to others, perceived barriers that might be social or financial could be overcome as a result of his/her self-efficacy. The careers of these respective individuals would be expected to develop quite differently as a reflection of their respective self-efficacy.

In assisting clients with themes of confidence, self-doubt and self-efficacy, it is important to uncover the seed or cause of these thought patterns that can negatively affect one’s career performance. The first step in this process is awareness and recognition of these thought patterns. The next step is to be able to proactively deal with how to overcome these issues. A professional counsellor can certainly facilitate the process, but the real work has to come from within the individual. This is by no mean an easy or overnight process. However, the tools and techniques gained during counselling sessions will result in a shift in perspective and attitude that will continue to be practiced long after the helping relationship is over.
 

For more articles related to Self-efficacy Theory and how it relates to Career Counselling:

Contributions of self-efficacy theory to career counseling: a personal perpective – Betz 2004

Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Bandura, Albert – 1977

Self-Efficacy Theory as a Basis for Career Assessment – Betz 2000

Applications of Self-Efficacy Theory to the Career Assessment of Women – Betz & Hackett 1997

 

Decision-making and Priorities for your Life and Career

We can be faced with making decisions multiple times per day, almost every day in our lives. Some people are very decisive and easily, almost effortlessly make decisions that might seem life changing to others. The decision spectrum can range from “What should I wear today?” all the way to, “What should I do with my life?” Of course the latter question is challenging for most of us. For those who are not fortunate enough to have a passion or calling that can become a career, this can be a daunting question. Like any challenge that may seem overwhelming, I like to step back and break the challenge into smaller pieces. The smaller pieces that make up this challenge will be unique to each person.

Uncovering the smaller pieces will likely require and include some self-reflection, perspective, objectivity (hopefully from a support network or perhaps from a professional), and determining your priorities. There are more ingredients to this recipe, but in order to keep this post concise, I will concentrate on determining your priorities as part of the process to overcome the challenge of making significant decisions in your life. If you can work out what your priorities are in terms of your family, friends, life and career, this can help work out where you can focus your energy in terms of decisions about your life and career.

Starting with your priorities as the basis from which to work, you should be able to eliminate any options that deviate from your key priorities. A simplified example would be if you chose quality time with your family as a priority over financial gain at work. Perhaps there is a promotion available at work that requires you to move to another city, and increase your work-related travel to 50%. While the increase to your salary may be attractive, it would be at the expense of re-locating your partner and children, plus spending less time with them overall. If you have already prioritized your family in this context, this promotion would likely be an opportunity that you would not consider. Complications may arise if the financial gain is considerable, so you may need to re-evaluate your priorities and determine if the financial gain might mitigate losing time with your family for a given period. In the long term, your decision could help your children with college/university, or benefit in another way some time in the future.

A dilemma such as this may require you to take another step back if confusion ensues. You may need to take an inventory of your values. Taking stock of your values can help you re-align your priorities, if necessary. There are a number of techniques that assist with this process. It would also be prudent to have an objective view to guide this process. It should also be done as part of an overall decision-making method. Decision-making can be difficult, but it does not have to be debilitating. Sometimes, the hardest step can be to make the decision to ask for help.

 

Grief and Loss in Your Life and Career

The experience of grief and loss is something that happens to all of us at some level throughout our lives. The level of loss we may feel will be unique to each of us and our tolerance level for grief will also be a very personal journey. The spectrum of loss is vast, including the loss of material possessions, to losing a job, losing your career, the loss of a friend or partner in a relationship break-up, loss of a pet, loss of health and well-being, and perhaps most difficult for the majority of us, the loss of a loved one.

How can we reconcile the loss of a loved one? I am not sure that we should. As deeply painful as it may be, perhaps it is the very pain of loss to which we should be mindful. As we strive to accept our loss, part of this process could also be to accept the pain. The pain of being left behind, the pain of the final good-bye, the pain of words left unsaid, the pain of deeds left undone. The pain that feels like an emptiness that might never leave, or an ache that penetrates your very core, and becomes a physical hurt. Without the full experience of this pain, and the acceptance of it, without judging it as a negative or positive emotion, we cannot grow and evolve our “humanness”. The experience of all emotions is an attribute of what makes us truly human.

The intensity of how we feel different emotions is going to vary for each individual. We cannot appreciate the emotions we may label as “good” or “positive” emotions (because they make us feel good), if we do not experience emotions from the opposite side of the emotional spectrum. The challenge is to be aware of how we react when we are confronted with the ultimate loss of a loved one. We should allow ourselves to grieve, and respect that we will all grieve differently.

Take care of you: allow yourself to cry when you feel sad or depressed; give yourself time to be alone if that is what you need; recall the memories of your loved one with friends and family and be OK to laugh or cry with them too; talk to a stranger; join a grief support group; seek out a grief counsellor; be selfish in your grief; give yourself time; listen to your body if is it displaying signs of stress; try to maintain healthy eating and exercise habits; accept kindness from family, friends and strangers.

There are many options to do whatever you need to do to experience your loss and for most*, time will allay the intensity of your grief. In this intensity of emotion, there is a new opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. The way in which we conduct ourselves in our career and our lives can also be significantly affected by this loss. As with other challenges throughout our careers and our lives, we need to be cognizant of how we deal with this particular hurdle. Hopefully we can incorporate the experience of grief to help us be more empathetic and sensitive to others and communicate better with those around us. The ideal would be that we come to fully appreciate the precious gift of life, and to live our own lives to the fullest of our capability.

 
*If you are finding that you are unable to work through your loss using your own resources, I would strongly urge you to seek professional assistance. Please let me know if I may be of assistance or can refer you to grief support resources.

 

Mindfulness and Stress Management for your Life and Career

“Mindfulness is being.” So states Jon Kabat-Zinn in this YouTube video titled: “Life is right now”. Part of the work I do with clients when we are dealing with how to align stress management with career issues and choices includes Mindfulness techniques. I was recently introduced to this YouTube clip by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and it appealed to me as it very eloquently articulates the scientific and physiological basis for Mindfulness. Some of my clients struggle to understand why it may be important to incorporate Mindfulness and Stress Management techniques in a Career Development Program. Coming from a background in physiology and psychology myself, I have always been amazed at the capacity our minds have to impact us at both a physical and emotional level. For some, the former is not as obvious as the latter.

Jon Kabat-Zinn speaks to mind plasticity that continues throughout our adult lives, not just during the developmental years. It is this mind plasticity that I look to tap into in order to assist clients working to overcome career issues at a current workplace, or who are looking to make a career transition. Incorporating Stress Management Techniques that include Mindfulness has many benefits that include allowing us to think more clearly, make more rational decisions and access areas of our creativity that may have been neglected for years. This creativity can allow us to consider possibilities that may not have been our radar to consider in a stressed out state. Stress at work and in our personal lives is very real, and manifests differently for everyone. Admitting to stress and being cognizant to your stressors are the first steps to overcoming stress. Some hide in the guise of the very accepted “Workaholic”, but why is this addiction less stigmatized than other addictions to substances and behaviours? Employers may perceive the “Workaholic” at the office is being productive, but in the long run, the lack of work/life balance can lead to burnout, higher absenteeism, and employee turnover. All of which are ultimately costly to the company’s bottom line, not to mention (and more importantly) workplace morale.

If we can use and practice the tools of Mindfulness and similar techniques to overcome stress in all areas of our lives, we will be more balanced and content in ourselves. If we can be happier with ourselves, we should find that we will relate better with others at work and at home. Subsequently, we improve our self-esteem and interpersonal relationships. Combined with using various techniques to mitigate stress, this will lead to higher productivity in all aspects of our lives.
 

 

Time Management = Stress Management

As we launch ourselves into 2012 with a vengeance, some of us will start working towards New Year’s Resolutions if we make them. Others may forego official resolutions, but still take stock and decide that a new attitude or taking up a new positive habit or two is worthwhile. Or perhaps resuming your regular routine after the seasonal holiday hiatus, or disruption (depending on your outlook) is adequate for some? In any case, as I head back to the gym with the masses and my regular schedule starts to fill again with work, social obligations and new projects, I seem to be aware of my rising stress level and look to how I can counter and manage my stress. For the last two months of 2011, I was not on my regular schedule and looking back to 2010, it seems that was the case back then too. I find there is an adjustment period back to my regular habits that allow me to implement my personal time management strategies. It occurred to me that some of these strategies that I use and share with clients might also be helpful for others.

For me, a significant component of stress management is time management. Time management tends to be like healthy eating – we all know what we should do, but it is hard for most of us to do it properly. The details will be unique to each person, but the basic principles should still apply:

- Organize time into categories, e.g. work, family, volunteer, personal appointments, social and “me” time.
- Prioritize your time and tasks within each time category, as necessary.
- Set boundaries: learn to say “no”.

The above principles may seem obvious, but they are not as easy to implement for many people. Not everyone will be motivated to do this, but if you were to make a time budget, what would it look like? Log your activities and the time it takes to do each for a week or two. It may be overwhelming at the beginning to go too granular (such as listing detailed tasks at work), so if you prefer, start with broad strokes and perhaps do something like this:

Time Budget Example.

It may seem tedious, but it is a good way of tracking your time if you do not have a good grasp on where you are spending your time. After a week or two, you can categorize into time categories and then from there, prioritize. Seeing how you are using your time in black and white also shows you where you may be able to spend less time doing an activity that is really a lower priority for you. It can also give you the opportunity to outsource certain activities that maybe lower priority, but high in terms of time value. An example of this could be housework. If you are spending two or more hours cleaning your house each week, you may want to determine if it is financially viable to hire a cleaning service. If the cleaning service is costing even 10% less per hour than you are earning, that may be an option to help you “buy” time. When you determine your priorities, you can also then work out when you should be asserting yourself to set boundaries and say “no”. This will enable you to keep your time for your higher priority activities. The art of being assertive is a separate discussion!

Developing the habit of time management takes time (how ironic), effort and commitment, but the payoff is that it will lead to having better control of your time; you will feel like you have more time. Ultimately this new habit should result in reduced stress. I will be exploring other topics of stress management in relation to mindfulness in my next post. Stay tuned.

For more information about time management and time budget techniques, you may find this article by Sid Savara of interest: A Powerful Time Management Strategy – The Time Budget?

 

 

Acceptance in Your Life and Career for Stress Management

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Grant me the courage to change what I can,

And grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

These words may be familiar to some as a version of “The Serenity Prayer”. I was confronted with contemplating Acceptance yesterday as I attended a training course on teaching Mindfulness. As one concept to be presented in a laundry list of key elements on Mindfulness, we need to convey the theme of Acceptance in less than five minutes in order to be able to cover all the material we have on our agenda for teaching Mindfulness in a 90-minute presentation. Ambitious? Perhaps. Impossible. No – not if we can message it concisely and clearly; that is, without ambiguity. Therein lies the challenge.

The challenge is to convey “the wisdom to know the difference” between striving to change the situation and accepting it. For some, striving to change a situation can be exhausting and possibly debilitating. Stress in the workplace has a multitude of examples to demonstrate this. You may relate to, or know someone who has experienced difficulties in the workplace. Buoyed by communication issues, personnel bias, seniority and personality conflicts, such difficulties can leave a worker feeling harassed and unsupported. This lack of support can occur even if the situation is escalated to upper management or a so-called independent third-party by way of mediation. In this situation, how many months should the victim strive to change the situation and endure emotional and physical stress? In accepting the situation, the choice of actions may be to try to stay at the workplace, but to be completely miserable, or to leave and be removed from the extremely stressful situation. The latter may not be an option in this challenging job market.

In accepting the situation, whatever the outcome, everyone is going to be different. Accepting is not giving up trying; it is being willing to embrace a situation for what it is. It is not judging the situation as positive or negative. As Jon Kabat-Zinn quotes: “Acceptance … does not mean passivity or resignation.” It is truly acknowledging where you are right now, so that your perspective on the situation can be objective. From this state of objectivity, you can then progress to a step of personal growth that involves a conscious decision to view reality. In terms of your career, it may be to acknowledge where you are without comparing yourself to others or trying to be perfect. Your attitude to your career expectations will allow you to ride the ebb and flow of a world of work where there are no guarantees. From this vantage point, you can then work toward making a decision to refining your career outcomes. Easier said than done, but awareness of Acceptance is the first step. It is this concept and this awareness of Acceptance that we can teach others while developing it in ourselves.
 

 

Life & Career Reflections for January 1, 2012

It is sobering and exciting to reflect on a day and date that is signifies both an end and a beginning. For many, as the first day of a New Year approaches, we pause to reflect on the year that was, including personal highlights and lowlights. The media may also contribute to this as the copious “lists” of “Top Ten x of 2011” appear on every topic imaginable. I personally try to insulate myself from being influenced by such “lists”, but I do find it interesting to observe the priorities that such lists reveal.     I am not going to analyze such priorities right now, as I have another intention for today’s post.

Recently, the CBC’s Marcy Markusa ran a series of stories on the topic of “Resolve”. It highlighted and interviewed people who had overcome immense obstacles, but who maintained a positive perspective on life. Faced with crisis, these people chose not only to survive, but also to grow from what we would typically view as a negative experience. Marcy asked why some people remain positive in the face of adversity. One explanation was that for some a state of crisis is a catalyst for realizing potential that we may all have, but unless forced into a given set of circumstances, we do not draw on our deepest personal resources. This potential can be the will to live to the fullest. It includes a shift in priorities, but typically if you are not motivated by crisis, or a similar life-altering event, it can be difficult to refocus your priorities.

The message I took away from this article is that in addition to the inspiring attitude of these amazing people, I was reminded to view challenges as opportunities to improve myself. In a moment of introspection, I came up with some questions for myself:

How can I personally focus on being more positive, and determine my personal priorities?
How can I do this truthfully and sincerely?
Can I do this without using crisis as a catalyst?

As it is a New Year, I decided that my personal intention for 2012 would be to answer these questions. In answering this, I listed what went well for me in 2011 and why. From this perspective, I will leverage the momentum of the positive in 2011, and carry that into 2012. Of course, not everything was positive in 2011, but using the outlook of the people from the “Resolve” article, I can learn from my challenging experiences of the past 12 months.

In addition, we do not need to wait until December 31 or January 1 for such reflection. Yes, it sounds cliché, but every day is a new beginning. What are you going to do for yourself today?